Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Love Conquers All

Valentine's Day is winding down for a lot of us. 

For others it's just heating up and if you're that lucky person, you're probably not reading this post. That's OK, this post probably isn't for you anyway. I think for many of us Valentine's Day is just like any other day, or so we tell ourselves. You know, the old "pretend you don't care so it doesn't hurt" trick. If that's you, I want to talk to you. I invite you to make a hot cup of tea and sit with me. You see, I'm very much like you. I've been there on Valentine's Day. I may have been in a crappy relationship at the time, or maybe I wasn't in one at all. Either way, I remember the sting of not getting remembered. I remember not getting flowers at the office, and  I remember every excuse as to why. 

I'm here to first tell you that it's perfectly normal to feel that way. 

It's normal because gift giving on this day has become something everybody does, even if the gifts are generic and routine. It's normal to feel that subtle lump when everyone else is projecting happiness and positive vibes after just receiving a bouquet or a card. It's natural if you're not in a relationship to think, "when will it be my turn?" It's even normal to revisit past relationships and all of the decisions you've made to land you in the position to feel put off by the day of love. It's normal to get angry and sad if the wounds are fresh, and even if they're almost healed. This day brings out many emotions in different women depending on where they are in life. So, if for one second you thought you were weird, or awkward, or the only one- think again, because it's normal and it's OK.

You know what's not OK? Staying in a rut and letting it control you. 

Feeling down for a while is normal. Staying down is not. Right now, if you're feeling miserable, no matter if you're single, recently separated, or in a relationship, you should commit to discovering why you feel that way. If you are single or recently separated let me affirm to you that there is only one relationship that has ever and will ever define you, and that is the relationship between you and Jesus Christ.
During worship at Church last week a sentence was spoken and it hit my soul and I need to repeat it, and someone needs to hear this. You need to know that Jesus died for YOU. Yes, He died for us, collectively, and if that's a concept you believe in but it doesn't feel personal to you, hear this...You need to know that even if you were the ONLY one that would have been saved, he would have still gotten on that cross, for YOU.
John 4:10 tells us, "In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins." How amazing is that? Jesus was completely blameless yet he suffered death so that you wouldn't have to. There isn't a more perfect love. There isn't a deeper feeling or sacrifice. This is also something no man can do for you. So, if you're out there waiting and there's a thought in your mind that you would feel complete in a relationship, I would encourage you to give God a chance. I have personally tried to fill my void in different relationships and it has never worked. This is because the void was a spiritual one and while I was chasing earthly relationships so that I could feel defined, I was missing the most important thing. Likewise, if you are out there and a relationship has ended for you, know that it is because something better was meant for you. You are not just a definition of a failed relationship, you are beautiful, and worthy, and spoken for.

If you are in a relationship and you feel inadequate or empty, the solution is surprisingly not any different. 

Loving a person despite their flaws is the hardest thing in the world to do, especially if that person has hurt us. While this is something I am still working through, I know that I wouldn't have even come half as far if I had
n't looked to God for an example. I am quite literally the least of them. The idea that I am worthy of a second chance and the miracles in my life is unbelievable. God forgave me, so in turn, I want to demonstrate the same forgiveness. It isn't easy. It's twice as difficult without communication and an open heart. I think in the hardest of times you've got to reach out to the Lord and pray for strength and understanding. Healthy relationships go well beyond Valentine's Day, candy and roses. In fact, if this day is used as a mask for all other crappy days in your relationship, I'm sad to say you're not headed in the right direction. It's time to armor up and have those difficult discussions, because without Christ in the center, the track record for success is short.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Isaiah 40:29

I wholly believe God has a special bond with women and He speaks to us differently and deals with us differently than men. I have seen women change their outcomes in ways that seem almost impossible and it happened when they stopped focusing on their relationships with men and instead worked on their relationship with God. All the other pieces to the puzzle began to fit, once the focus was shifted.

Know that you are a gift and you were created for a purpose, and it wasn't just to live and die (metaphorically) by earthly relationships. Know that there is a God who would love to hear from you because He loves you and wants the very best for you.

I hope that if you're out there and you need encouragement that you would reach out to me and we can talk, or rather, you can talk and I will listen. I am not a preacher or an evangelist, I'm just a woman, in progress. I stumble everyday but my sole mission is to be an encourager and champion for those who need it most. Please feel free to drop me a line, ask a question, or share a story.



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