Little victories, bigger lessons

So Tuesday night after my boot camp class at the gym, I decided to step on the scale. I really don't like stepping on the scale considering it never seems to reflect how much work I put in during the week.

I'm coming clean on this open forum and telling the world that I am technically "morbidly obese" when considering my height. Standing 4'11" to be exact at 167 lbs when I couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without breathing heavily is when I decided enough is enough. I probably should have decided enough was enough 20 lbs ago and this journey would be so much easier but I was in a darker place then. The days when I woke up feeling worthy enough to be breathing were few and far between much less deciding I was worthy enough to be healthy and happy.

If some will remember, last year in July I decided I was going to try going on the HCG diet. I did it for close to a week and I wasn't dedicated. I was hungry all the time and the ends (in my opinion at the time) did not justify the means. In reality, I didn't give it enough time and I am sure if I actually put 100% effort and time into preparing the meals, preparing the snacks, and following the regimen I probably would have seen results within the week.

I told you all of that to tell you this...

I have been religiously going to the gym 5 days a week 1-2 hours a day for about a month and a half. Before that, I started slow- 2-4 hours a week alternating between Zumba and weights and some cardio. I stepped on the scale and slowly but surely the numbers changed-- 167-166, 166-164, 164-162...and then the doom began. The scale read: 162....163....162...162.5 and the numbers would not change for about 2 weeks. To someone who is desperately trying to lose pounds and to feel better this is devastating. I started getting discouraged. This would be the point where my normal self would say, "forget it, it's never going to happen." and not go back to the gym...

So last night, I dredged over to the scale, looked at the for a while and got on. The room was transformed suddenly and I was on the "Biggest Loser" stage and Amanda's all too famous phrase was ringing in my ears, "Your current weight is......." I closed my eyes and said a tiny prayer.....

......1.......................58!!!!!!!!!

I had to yank someone else over to the scale to make sure I was reading the numbers correctly. Oh, sweet victory!! I am no longer in the 160s...and you can bet your bottom dollar I'll never see them again!!!! I felt like a brand new person. To some it may be just a tiny bump but to me it was everything. It was the number I needed to see to feel accomplished and to feel as though I was capable of regaining control of my weight.

Hooray!


Little victory......about 4 lbs.
Big lesson........it may have taken a little longer than I expected or wanted, but giving up and staying home would have ensured it didn't happen at all....better late than never.

155.....Your days are numbered.

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