Thursday, February 9, 2012

Little victories, bigger lessons

So Tuesday night after my boot camp class at the gym, I decided to step on the scale. I really don't like stepping on the scale considering it never seems to reflect how much work I put in during the week.

I'm coming clean on this open forum and telling the world that I am technically "morbidly obese" when considering my height. Standing 4'11" to be exact at 167 lbs when I couldn't walk up a flight of stairs without breathing heavily is when I decided enough is enough. I probably should have decided enough was enough 20 lbs ago and this journey would be so much easier but I was in a darker place then. The days when I woke up feeling worthy enough to be breathing were few and far between much less deciding I was worthy enough to be healthy and happy.

If some will remember, last year in July I decided I was going to try going on the HCG diet. I did it for close to a week and I wasn't dedicated. I was hungry all the time and the ends (in my opinion at the time) did not justify the means. In reality, I didn't give it enough time and I am sure if I actually put 100% effort and time into preparing the meals, preparing the snacks, and following the regimen I probably would have seen results within the week.

I told you all of that to tell you this...

I have been religiously going to the gym 5 days a week 1-2 hours a day for about a month and a half. Before that, I started slow- 2-4 hours a week alternating between Zumba and weights and some cardio. I stepped on the scale and slowly but surely the numbers changed-- 167-166, 166-164, 164-162...and then the doom began. The scale read: 162....163....162...162.5 and the numbers would not change for about 2 weeks. To someone who is desperately trying to lose pounds and to feel better this is devastating. I started getting discouraged. This would be the point where my normal self would say, "forget it, it's never going to happen." and not go back to the gym...

So last night, I dredged over to the scale, looked at the for a while and got on. The room was transformed suddenly and I was on the "Biggest Loser" stage and Amanda's all too famous phrase was ringing in my ears, "Your current weight is......." I closed my eyes and said a tiny prayer.....

......1.......................58!!!!!!!!!

I had to yank someone else over to the scale to make sure I was reading the numbers correctly. Oh, sweet victory!! I am no longer in the 160s...and you can bet your bottom dollar I'll never see them again!!!! I felt like a brand new person. To some it may be just a tiny bump but to me it was everything. It was the number I needed to see to feel accomplished and to feel as though I was capable of regaining control of my weight.

Hooray!


Little victory......about 4 lbs.
Big lesson........it may have taken a little longer than I expected or wanted, but giving up and staying home would have ensured it didn't happen at all....better late than never.

155.....Your days are numbered.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

a REAL life

Currently at lifechurch.tv we are in the "Better" series and last week we were discussing the verse: Better one handful with tranquillity than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind. Ecclesiastes 4:6

You can find this message online along with other great messages from Life Church and Pastor Craig at http://www.lifechurch.tv/watch

This message to me was so powerful I can barely express it. The average American is way too "busy" yet when you speak to someone who is SO busy and actually ask them what they're doing, you will maybe find 2 out of 1,000 things they name off which are actually productive, useful, relevant, and meaningful. I'm one of those people.

After this message I started making a list in my head of the things I did which actually matter and/or are necessary.

Here's my list...with a little bit of math (which I am not a fan of by the way)
Work: 40 hours per week (8 hours per day-5 days per week)
Sleep: 42 hours per week (6 hours per day-7 days per week)
Gym: 5 hours per week (1 hour per day- 5 days per week)
Church: 1 hour per week
Daily Bible Reading- 6 hours per week (usually takes me about 30 mins per night to read through, analyze, pray, think, etc.)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
40+42+5+1= 88 hours per week worth of stuff that matters
24 hrs x 7 days = 168 hours exist in a week
168-88= 80 hours per week left over
80 hours/7 days= 11.42 hours of AVERAGE downtime PER DAY!!!

Mind you the 11.42 hours includes the weekend days as well. So, on weekdays I don't have 11.42 hours of my day left after work and the gym. Still, my life never feels like I have ONE hour per day left over much less 3,4, or ELEVEN!! Which only leads me to analyze myself and realize that I am spinning my wheels. I am filling my life with things that DON'T matter...i.e.: t.v. shows, my phone, Facebook, Twitter, I would say my blog but I feel it's not a time waster because it may help someone. I worry too much and I'm sure that sucks up a good few hours per day. All this time I felt like I barely fit in cleaning my house and spending time with Sasa but reality is...I have all the time I need I have just been wasting it on things that don't matter and taking it for granted.

Pastor Craig said something which is still ringing in my ears, "GET A REAL LIFE!!" I am making a commitment to turn my phone off more, tweet less, give Facebook a break, give up on reruns and reality t.v. and actually do things which matter. I'm hoping to challenge people to do the same.

Time is something you can neither do over nor get more of, what are you wasting yours on?

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Lessons in disguise?

Last Tuesday night was physically, mentally, and psychologically, exhausting. I left our house at about 6:40 p.m. and headed off to the gym for boot camp! Sasa left at about 7:05 p.m. go to school. Boot camp was a reality check for me in terms of fitness. I was winded within 4.5 minutes into the workout. I threw up halfway into the work out. I kept going and a finished but I felt very defeated. I left that class on the brink of giving up but there was a little part of me which still wanted to come back on Thursday and give it another shot.

As  I drove home I wondered what it was about me when it came to working out. I am determined in every other aspect of my life. I'm determined at work both to do a great job, and to advance, not for the love of money or greed of any kind but to prove to myself what I'm capable of. I keep cooking even though I'm not the best at it, just to prove to myself that I CAN learn and master it. I am determined to learn more about God and grow in my faith so even when I least feel like it, I drag my butt to church and open my hear and mind to what the Lord will have me hear. Working out on the other hand...is an entirely different animal.

When I can't do something at the gym, I give up. I feel so depressed and I feel like it's not even worth trying anymore because I'll never accomplish anything. I keep going to Zumba because it's fun and I have some rhythm but when it comes to running, boot camp, weights or anything else-- if I get winded or tired before I feel I should I feel like throwing in the towel. This will require some prayer and some hard core soul searching. I'll never reach my fitness goals if I quit all the time.

I digress...

I was pulling into the driveway at about 8:15 p.m. I locked the car and proceed to walk up to our gate. I unlocked it and closed it behind me. I unlocked my house and flipped the lights on. Something seemed weird...I looked on the mantle above the fire place where our t.v. is placed but it wasn't there. My eyes drifted lower and I realized our play station was gone and my living room was trashed. Then...I heard footsteps and a banging noise coming from the backyard. A thought came over me and a good one at that..."run back to the car and drive off!" I was panicking at this point because I knew what happened...we were robbed. Afraid to go back home, I called the police. I didn't know if I had seen anyone, or if anyone stayed behind to get some more stuff so I didn't want to take the chance of going home before it was thoroughly checked out. The police found no one and just told me they were filing a report and to write down what was missing.

I feel....violated. I am surprised that I don't feel angry...on the contrary I feel fortunate that I didn't go home any sooner, or God forbid was still at home when someone decided to break in. I still can't be in my house alone. I got it cleaned up and we ordered an alarm system. I keep praying I'll be able to get over this, pray for those who did us wrong, and move on but it's just so hard. It's such a scary feeling being at home alone...I keep an eye out on every door in the house and jump at any sound.

Maybe there is a lesson in disguise in all of this...I just haven't found it yet..

Monday, January 9, 2012

Productive Weekend and Recipe Review

As mentioned in my earlier blogs, I have decided to try meal planning. I am following the advice of Kindra and her blog Meal Planning 101- http://themealplanner.blogspot.com/

After a not-so-productive Saturday (Orthodox Christmas) the first dinner meal I decided to make was the Beef & Green Beans in Peanut Sauce. (http://themealplanner.blogspot.com/2008/04/stir-fried-beef-with-green-beans-in.html) Let's just say that this probably wasn't the best recipe for me to start with. I apparently don't do well with recipes which require many ingredients. I didn't have a lot of the things this recipe called for when I made my grocery list and ended up spending more than I would have liked. That being said, I now have things that I'm sure I'll need over and over again in the next few weeks that I won't have to buy (ie: cornstarch, rice vinegar, sesame oil, peanut oil, chili flakes) I don't think my beef was sliced thinly enough and I could still taste the corn starch in the recipe once it was made-once again probably my bad! Over all the flavor was nice, savory, a little spicy and just the right amount of nutty.

Sunday was productive for us. We went to church (http://www.lifechurch.tv/) and then headed over to PetsMart for some dog food. We decided to go pick up Sasa's golden retriever Niki who still resides with his parents and we took her to our house to play with Scooby and Lilly.

Sunday was pulled pork day http://themealplanner.blogspot.com/2008/09/pulled-pork-sandwiches.html so I placed the pork shoulder-butt in the slow cooker as soon as we came back. I finally took down all of our Christmas decorations and caught up all the laundry we had accumulated over the holidays. It's crazy how much laundry two people can have!!

I checked the pork a few times and it seemed to be doing fairly well. We took the 3 best friends (insert The Hangover tune) for a walk in the park and around the neighborhood and wore them out well. By this time it was about 6 p.m. and the pork had been cooking on high for about 4.5 hours. The recipe says to cook the pork in the slow cooker on low but my slow cooker's low setting equates to barely any heat whatsoever so I had to do it on high. The meat was cooking in plenty of fluids and it didn't seem to dry it out or make it tough at all. I removed the pork and began pulling it apart as the directions said to.

One thing I definitely should have done beforehand was to trim the fat off the pork. A lot of it fell off on it's own but some of it was hard to get rid of once the meat fell apart because it had gotten so soft and mushy. I left some of the liquid in the crock pot as the recipe stated and put the meat back in and added BBQ sauce. After a quick taste I decided I needed more liquid smoke in the mix as well. This is just personal taste and I'm sure every one's will be different. I let the meat cook for about 30 minutes per directions and then I served the meat on some toasted buns.

It was pretty good. The meat was still soggy and lacking that ultra smokey taste I was hoping for. I had meat for about 8 servings. I served 4 and left the rest in the slow cooker. I turned the slow cooker down to low to keep the meat warm but avoid drying it out. I came back to turn off the slow cooker (after forgetting about it for a few hours...oops) and took another bite...it was AMAZING! I stored the rest in Tupperware and we had some for lunch today...it's the best pulled pork I've ever had and I am so excited about it!!

Moral of the story...if you like your pulled pork very smokey don't be afraid to adapt the recipe and in my experience the longer you let it stew in the BBQ sauce on the lowest setting, the better it will be!

Tonight, I am making Baja Chicken Quesadillas...I'll be sure to update!

p.s. Thanks Kindra for the great site!

Friday, January 6, 2012

Furry miracles and a long week!

We have found Scooby Doo!!! A lovely couple, Skylar and Dave, found Scooby Doo when he crossed 6 lanes of traffic on a main street and went on an adventure. We skimmed through Craigslist and didn't find anything so I posted an ad in the lost and found section. The next morning, I had a message in my inbox that said they had found Scooby. I didn't believe it at first because there were two other dogs that ran away from the same area we lived in and were already posted for on craigslist. I asked Skylar if she could send a picture to verify it was him. When I saw his little face pop up on that text message I probably jumped about 3 feet. I was so glad that little guy didn't get run over, or sick, or taken. Lilly is still pretty indifferent about it...I think she's kind of put out that the little ball of energy is back to bug her.

This week although a day short has proved to be the longest week ever! I have been dealing with some unnecessary hatefulness coming my way but it doesn't matter. There will always be people whom you intimidate or rub the wrong way. This morning on my drive in I was listening to Chuck Swindoll. He was preaching on knowing your convictions and living by them and I smiled because I try to do just that every day. I am confident in who I am and my abilities, be it at work or personal. Therefore, a little hatefulness from people who are not equally grounded in their convictions and still trying to find their place in the world, is OK with me. I'll just smile, do my thing, and pray for them because they obviously need it. Life becomes lighter and a little easier to live when you know yourself and know that no matter what people around you think or say, you're going to be you without any reserve about it.

I hope everyone enjoys their weekend!

I'm looking forward to catching up on housecleaning, and trying out some meals from Meal Planning 101. http://themealplanner.blogspot.com/ Kindra has some fairly easy recipes and I really want to try the basics of meal planning. I feel it'll save us so much money...bringing us ever the closer to buying our first house =]


Sunday, January 1, 2012

Holiday Blues and More Piggy News

While packing to go to Tulsa this weekend for New Year's at my parent's Scooby Doo (our beagle) ran away yet again. He has a knack for finding the tiniest spots to crawl through/break free from etc.. He usually only makes it halfway down the block before we finally catch up with him and find some way to bring him back. This time he bolted full speed and there was no stopping him. He made it two blocks down the road before hubby almost caught him, then ended up on a main street. In the mean time I was getting into the car and hubby got in with me and we looked for Scooby. He was gone... one he got onto the main road, there was no sight of him. I just pray he is safe and hasn't gotten ran over. I have posted ads pretty much every where and hopefully someone soon will find him. Lilly doesn't seem to be very phased with Scooby's disappearance and a small part of me thinks she is happy to be our only child again...that pig!

To update, Lilly has been spayed and once her hormones had completely left her body, she became more calm. She is slowly but surely more affectionate and less likely to snap at people and try to bite. Her and Scooby would get into tussles here and there and Lilly would sometimes bleed and it used to worry me. She would pick fights with him and luckily, they were about the same size so they couldn't really hurt each other all that much. Which brings me to another lesson learned...dogs and pigs will fight... It's not a question of "if" it's a question of "when?"

Pigs are very stubborn and they have a pecking order. Part of being a pig is constantly challenging everyone around you to see where you fall in that pecking order. Pigs do it with adults, children, and other animals as well. It is very important to know this if you plan on or do own a pig. It is also important to know to stand your ground when your pig starts to test the limits. DO NOT SMACK YOUR PIG!  Pigs don't forget and physical discipline makes them even more aggressive and violent. Use your height to your advantage and if your pig wants to square off with you stand your ground firmly and corner your pig. Do not show fear, and do not try to run. One effective way I've found is to almost make a fighting stance but slightly angle yourself so you look like you may charge at your pig. This is what pigs naturally will do, charge at each other with open mouths, or they'll try to head butt each other....therefore if you assume the stance and do not back down, your pig should realise they are ineligible to fight for your spot in the pecking order.

I have learned this trick with Lilly and I can now read her body language, when the little Mohawk on her head starts to raise and she gets a look in her eye like she may be ready to test me, I square off with her instantly and let her know I will have none of it. I loudly say "NO!" and "BACK OFF" and I send her to her kennel. She grunts and whines about it, but it works.

Scooby would spend the afternoons outside with Lilly and they would wear each other out. This would put Lilly in a much more relaxed mood when we came home from work, I'm a little nervous to see what life will be like if we don't find Scoob. I fear her anxiousness from being bored will cause her to start acting out again. Here's to hoping for that little guy's safe return...for the sake of my sanity!