Holiday Blues and More Piggy News

While packing to go to Tulsa this weekend for New Year's at my parent's Scooby Doo (our beagle) ran away yet again. He has a knack for finding the tiniest spots to crawl through/break free from etc.. He usually only makes it halfway down the block before we finally catch up with him and find some way to bring him back. This time he bolted full speed and there was no stopping him. He made it two blocks down the road before hubby almost caught him, then ended up on a main street. In the mean time I was getting into the car and hubby got in with me and we looked for Scooby. He was gone... one he got onto the main road, there was no sight of him. I just pray he is safe and hasn't gotten ran over. I have posted ads pretty much every where and hopefully someone soon will find him. Lilly doesn't seem to be very phased with Scooby's disappearance and a small part of me thinks she is happy to be our only child again...that pig!

To update, Lilly has been spayed and once her hormones had completely left her body, she became more calm. She is slowly but surely more affectionate and less likely to snap at people and try to bite. Her and Scooby would get into tussles here and there and Lilly would sometimes bleed and it used to worry me. She would pick fights with him and luckily, they were about the same size so they couldn't really hurt each other all that much. Which brings me to another lesson learned...dogs and pigs will fight... It's not a question of "if" it's a question of "when?"

Pigs are very stubborn and they have a pecking order. Part of being a pig is constantly challenging everyone around you to see where you fall in that pecking order. Pigs do it with adults, children, and other animals as well. It is very important to know this if you plan on or do own a pig. It is also important to know to stand your ground when your pig starts to test the limits. DO NOT SMACK YOUR PIG!  Pigs don't forget and physical discipline makes them even more aggressive and violent. Use your height to your advantage and if your pig wants to square off with you stand your ground firmly and corner your pig. Do not show fear, and do not try to run. One effective way I've found is to almost make a fighting stance but slightly angle yourself so you look like you may charge at your pig. This is what pigs naturally will do, charge at each other with open mouths, or they'll try to head butt each other....therefore if you assume the stance and do not back down, your pig should realise they are ineligible to fight for your spot in the pecking order.

I have learned this trick with Lilly and I can now read her body language, when the little Mohawk on her head starts to raise and she gets a look in her eye like she may be ready to test me, I square off with her instantly and let her know I will have none of it. I loudly say "NO!" and "BACK OFF" and I send her to her kennel. She grunts and whines about it, but it works.

Scooby would spend the afternoons outside with Lilly and they would wear each other out. This would put Lilly in a much more relaxed mood when we came home from work, I'm a little nervous to see what life will be like if we don't find Scoob. I fear her anxiousness from being bored will cause her to start acting out again. Here's to hoping for that little guy's safe return...for the sake of my sanity!

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My first Book Review (may contain some spoilers!)- The Help

One of my New Year's Resolutions is to make a conscious effort to read more. I decided to start a little early when the movie "The Help" was showing in theatres. I heard about this book a long while back and it's been on my list of things the read I "just never got around to it." (I know, lame!) I absolutely adore Emma Stone and I knew I had to watch the movie, but I really wanted to read the book first because movies don't ever give you all the details you need. A few weeks ago I broke down and downloaded The Help e-book for my iPad.

The way the book begins really sets the scene for the whole story. Some books take a while to get in to, where you're actually visualising the people and the setting, not this one. Aibileen starts speaking, and you listen intently and automatically imagine a full figured, strong, black woman in the South. Even her name is strong and wise! As you read through the chapter your imagination floods as all the key people are described almost too abruptly but necessarily. The South is always described through the eyes of the white Southerner and it's refreshing to get a different take on what was happening. There are some characters who you are unable to stand right from the start. You can just hear the shrill, haughty, put out voices of women who never had to lift a finger. There are also some characters you love instantly like Mae Mobley because of the sincerity of their character and what they represent in the story. The book leaves you hopeful about the futures of these characters.

Another cool thing about the book is the way the chapters skip from one person's point of view to the next. Time frames are not strictly followed in the book and I found myself back tracking a few pages to realize what amount of time had passed and how long certain parts of the story took place. This isn't necessarily a con, and I think it was done on purpose to highlight the highs and lows of the book.

One thing I will note as a con even though it might be my own fault is that I was expecting something POWERFUL. I was expecting a gigantic, disturbing, "change it all" twist in the story because the whole book hints towards a huge climax and I never really found one. The book definitely has some intense moments and "Wow!" factors but nothing really shocked me, or rattled me, or disturbed me as much as I wanted it to, I guess. I really would have expected a bigger scandal in the Phelan family having to do with Constantine and why Skeeter's mother fired her. I feel the book would have made a bigger impact if it took a tour down a dark alley and told some really dark secret of the South which we now know to be true (i.e. sexual relationships between hired help and their employers...sometimes even forced, verbal and physical abuse of the help by employers) With the absence of something equally as disturbing the book is kept semi-light hearted.

 You definitely feel for the maids in this book, you feel their love for the children they sit, and even the sensitivity they have to some of the people they work for. The friendships formed without boundaries in this book are also touching.

Overall, I would say this was a good read. It left me hoping for a little more intensity but never the less, I enjoyed it and definitely found value in the story.

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Good News!!

I wanted to share what I always knew to be true but recently decided to trust with all of my heart and soul. I wanted to tell you if you're seeing this and you are in a dark place there is hope because I have found it. I want to tell you that someone loves you, cares for you, believes in you and wants you to know it.

His name is Jesus Christ. He was born for YOU. He lived for YOU. He died on a cross for YOU. He rose again...for YOU. He loves you so much that He will not force himself into your life, He will come to you when you call...and He desperately wants you to call.

I want to testify to the Truth that is Jesus...and He is the Truth...(you can actually look it up in scholarly readings besides the Bible.) Those who know me well know I was not a religious person, I did not attend church, and I did not openly speak about Faith. I was depressed, unhappy, and fearful. When I found myself on my knees I decided it was time to pray...and I did.

If I found a product that I really liked and I bought it and it worked I would endorse it. I owe it to the Lord to endorse Him the same way. He is working miracles in my life...He is changing me, and the people around me in ways I never thought possible. All I can do is be thankful and now return the goodness and kindness God is showing by doing what He has asked of me to do...believe with all my hear, and proclaim with all my strength.

Amen.

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The next 25.

My apologies for such a long while of not writing. I would say it was a hiatus but every time I hear the word I think of some big brain taking a little while to unwind because all they've been doing is theorizing and coming up with ways to save the world. So, I would be undermining the integrity of the word if I used it. This is more like, I meat to write but haven't gotten a chance.

I woke up yesterday and realized at the end of this week I will be 25 years old. A quarter of a century! I have been blessed with opportunities not very many people can take advantage of, and I can't help but feel lucky to have done and seen the things I have.  Granted, my 25 year story hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows. Rarely anyone's ever is. I have made good decisions and at other times, very poor decisions. I have hurt people and people have hurt me. I've missed deadlines, and forgetten bills. I've had horrible days at work, and great days at work. I had very dark moments, and also ones filled with hope. I have hit rock bottom, and am clambering back up. There were days when I could not face the person in the mirror. There were days when I could not face those around me. There were days when I felt very unworthy, and days when I felt very ungrateful. I've been knocked down and lifted up only to be knocked down again. I've fought, I've lost, and I've won. I have listened and I have spoken. I have regretted, and forgiven. I have chased away many demons, and some still will not leave. Most importantly, I am happy to say...I've learned...and they say "Life is the geatest teacher."

In my next 25, I hope to worry less, relax more, continue working on making me better, and enjoy every single second. They go by quickly and wasting them on trivialities is an insult to the gift.

___

October is also Breast Cancer Awareness month so, wear your pink, donate what you can, hug the women in your life often, and do your part to heal the world.

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Wild Fires and Hurricanes

It seems like the past few weeks have been absolutely insane in terms of natural disasters and weather. This of course doesn't include the huge tornadoes ripping through our country. Labor Day is approaching which for many means a three day weekend, and for some it doesn't mean much. To me, it's a time to be thankful and hopeful. I am proud every time I hear about a new volunteer group forming to help those who have suffered a loss. For someone who wasn't even born in this country, I get warm fuzzies when I witness how caring, neighbourly and willing Americans are in terms of helping each other. All you ever hear on the news, especially these days, is the aforementioned atrocities and also the ugly political banter which has done well to separate the people of this country in an attempt at personal gain. It's refreshing to see that people are still willing to give a helping hand, drive cross country, and spend their time doing something for their neighbours, whether it's a two mile separation, or an 800 mile separation.

I encourage everyone to realize that these things are what make this country great. The ability to always rise above, together. I encourage everyone to really listen to what is happening around them and before making judgements take a moment to walk in your neighbours shoes and consider all of the facts before drawing a conclusion.I encourage everyone to lay their egos and pride aside and realize you are part of so much more than your own tiny little world. I encourage everyone to believe in the power of love, and humanity. I challenge everyone to do something nice for a complete stranger at least 10 times over the Labor Day holiday, and if someone does something nice to you, I encourage you to pay it forward. Inspire those around you to be better people, by making a conscious effort to be a better person yourself.

You will take nothing with you when you go....but you will leave so much behind. The choice is yours whether it will be positive or negative.

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A Message for Employers/ Recruiters

A recent conversation with a close friend inspired me to write this blog, because I have had it happen to me, and now several other people I know.

Creating a FALSE sense of urgency.


There are MILLIONS of people in the United States currently looking for jobs. Some are more fortunate than others and are currently bringing in income while others are desperate to get employed because they have no money coming in. The people who are desperately looking for work will be some of the most reliable candidates you have ever seen. They will be 15 minutes early to every appointment, they will come dressed better than anyone else, and they will emit an Ora of the highest professionalism you have seen thus far (there are of course exceptions to this general rule.)  These people will also take it very personally when you blow them off, even if it is unintentional.

When you make your initial phone call to your prospective candidates do not open with something like this: "When is the soonest you are available to meet as we are looking to expedite this process and fill the position as quickly as possible." The over achiever, desperate job seeker on the other end of the line will take you for your literal word. They will shuffle anything in their current schedule to make it to the soonest appointment possible just to get a foot in the door.

This person will show up to their interview and do everything they can to impress you. When you are finished interviewing this person, they will still remember what you previously told them about needing to expedite the hiring process. Therefore, if it takes you two weeks to contact them for a second interview, or even with a rejection letter, you will leave this person confused, miffed, but worst of all with a bad taste in their mouth about your Company. Making your business or Company look bad is something no body should encourage or partake in, not even HR personnel.

Even if you really are looking to expedite the hiring process but the Vice President came down with a case of the chicken pocks and hasn't been in for two weeks leaving you with no decision making power, completely omitting the fact that you are "trying to expedite the process" in your intial contact with the person you are looking to interview will eliminate the potential for you to look bad in the long run and come up with excuses later on.

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Family...

I have often wondered what actually defines families. When you really think about it who we are, and where we came from is all chance. Or is it?

The word "family" comes from he Latin word "Familia." It defines a group of people who are connected by a) consanguinity (same blood line) b) affinity and c) co-residence.

It's funny to me that two out of the three possible definitions are matters of choice, and one of them a matter of chance or fate (whichever way you prefer to look at it.) It's also funny to me that the one determined by chance or fate, is actually the least defining characteristic of  a real family. 

Consanguinity is not a choice, one has no say in which bloodline he/she belongs to. But this characteristic is so petty and so little. Affinity and co-residence are matters of choice. You can choose who you're close to...you can choose who you live with (for the most part) and more often than not the people you choose to be close to and life with, turn out to be a bigger definition of your family, than those who share your bloodline. How?

They say blood is thicker than water... Physically you could say yes. But Spiritually?

In light of recent circumstances my answer to that question would be "No."

Have you read the news lately? Have you heard the horrors? Fathers sexually molesting their daughters, mothers drowning their kids in order to be able to party more. I mean, parents and children are the closest form of the consanguineous bond...so how is blood thicker than water when things like a perverted urge, or a party lifestyle come before it?

People adopt children every day and the way those families behave, the way they interact and love each other leaves no way to tell they are not "technically" a family. They fulfill the co-residence, and the affinity portions of the familial definition yet consanguinity never seems to matter.

People abandon their children all the time because of the choices the children make: people they chose to love, degrees they chose not to pursue, and the opinions they hold yet I have met people who have been friends for years who are closer to each other than to their actual family.

I don't believe blood is thicker than water. I think a family is what you make it. I believe there are consanguineous families who really do love and cherish each other the way one would expect but I believe that's a choice; because for every blood family that treats each other well, there's another that doesn't.

Behaving as a family is a choice. It comes from deep love and respect for one another which outweighs the love of self and arrogance. It comes from a place of peace and a mutual understanding that even though we may not always agree with one another, we love one another enough to see past it without forcing each other to sacrifice a part of ourselves.

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